What makes people cheat? | Extra Marital Affairs..
Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much?
I have seen relationships going through rough patches.
We want everything —security, respectability, property, and children—but now we also want our partner to love us, to desire us, to be interested in us and only with us.
After studying a couples of affairs and talking with the persons related…. I came to know some of the reasons why people cheat.
Men can’t eat same biryani daily.Some can’t adjust.Some of them says:”Yes i love my spouse and happy together but still i have an affair”.What it means ?Why they don’t feel anything wrong in it ?Why do men really cheat? And why do they sometimes continue cheating after they’re caught, even in the face of profoundly unwanted consequences like divorce, loss of parental contact, loss of social standing, and the like?
Many of these individuals were faithful for years, sometimes decades. They seem to be well balanced, mature, caring, and deeply invested in their relationship. Yet one day, they crossed a line they never imagined they would cross. For a glimmer of what?I want to understand what the affair means for them. Why did they do it?How did it feel?
Cheating is cheating whether its physical,emotional connect or chatting or sexting or setting ,anything.
If you’re currently struggling to understand why this has happened to you, you may find it useful to think about some of the following.
1.Felling of Boredom :
We get into a relationship thinking that it will last forever.But this forever also has duties ,responsibilities,finances ,families so much.Life may have become dominated by work or looking after kids, so time together has become more functional than loving.
And in all of this,one you meet someone special and feel connected with what’s missing in your marriage again,Life suddenly becomes perfect again or so you think.
If there’s a lack of balance in a relationship, one partner can begin to feel a bit like a parent and the other like a child. For example, one partner may feel like they have to be the responsible one, making all the decisions, organizing the home, managing the finances and so on, while their partner doesn’t pull their weight. An affair might then be tempting in order to feel appreciated and equal. Equally, the partner in the ‘child’ position may feel criticized and as if nothing they do seems to be enough, meaning an affair might feel like a way of reclaiming some sense of independence and authority.
If he does not have a lot of experience in committed relationships and can’t handle responsibilities , or if he doesn’t fully understand that his actions will inevitably have consequences like hurting his partner, he may think it is fine to have sexual adventures. He has a lack of decision making capabilities of what is right or whats wrong.
4.They’re sexually dissatisfied :
After being in a long-term relationship, it isn’t uncommon to feel your sexual desire for your partner fade and, for some people, the same goes for emotional connection. Unsurprisingly, dissatisfaction in the bedroom or a waning desire to be sexually intimate with your partner may be a risk factor for cheating.
If both partners work on overcoming these obstacles, the initial sexual and emotional highs that were experienced in the beginning can be re-sparked.
There’s a so-called cheating gene.If you’ve had a parent who cheated, you have to stay committed to changing this possible inherited behavior.
6. Low self-esteem
Affairs can also arise from personal insecurities. Low self-esteem can cause people to be very dependent on the attentions of others—and in some cases, the attention of just one person isn’t enough. It may also cause someone to feel insecure in their own relationship, so much so that they might cheat as a way of rejecting rather than being rejected.
Some partners don’t cheat for sex,instead in finding love for them.They think their current partner don’t have the potential to express love for them.If love language is different to your partners, that can leave you feeling unloved – and potentially more open to the affections of someone who seems to understand you better.
He may cheat to get revenge. He is angry with his mate, and wants to hurt her. In such cases, the infidelity is meant to be seen and known. The man does not bother to lie or keep secrets about his cheating, because he wants his partner to know about it.
If your partner truly regrets what he did and want to invest in you again…. Then you can save your relationship for the very first time ,if you really love them.Although it can be very difficult for the person who has been cheated on—both partners will need to acknowledge their responsibility for what was wrong with the relationship prior to this happening.
Betrayal hurts,but it can be healed.
Share your thoughts in the comments.